Friday, November 27, 2015

[ ''QUOTATION '' ]

    [ ‘’ Quotation ‘’ ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
Old man thought ‘’what is the use of me living like this ? a useless ;unwanted ; inconvenient  fellow;…..counting my days….but it is not coming to an end…some how  pulling on .After my wife Narayani’s death  I have been with my eldest daughter . for some time, I was wanted to stand in the queue  to buy milk and provisions; to take the children to the bus stop; in the evening to bring them back.
When they became old enough ,that they could  manage themselves; I became
a  useless  inconvenient  fellow. Without a word I came away.  Now  I  realize  Narayani’s  value .Poor thing  she is my uncle’s daughter; born for me …but she
received  only insult ;….blaming…and snubbing from me..Now she is full in my heart;….every nook and corner of the house; in the cow shed;  …..in the chicken cage;…..everywhere  I could feel her presence.  ;.Now all these places are empty.
  The kitchen almost lay closed. One servant used to come ; whenever she feels like coming; and cook some rubbish. Now I realize that money is nothing ; no value at all;…to buy medicine or some other necessary things ,I have to wait days to get somebody  to buy it. What is the use of me living like this;...how can I end my life?
and get rid of all these misery.’’ Long time our good old man is trying to find out a solution to put an end to his life. Slowly he took out his medicine box. There was medicine for high B P ,sugar ,and sleeping pills. He collected it and thought for a moment; ‘’ if I swallow all these medicines together, my BP will go down and down, and my sugar level will go down and down and sleep ,sleep,  sleep off and finish. But if I don’t  finish off, then somebody will put me in the hospital ,even if nobody wants me; then the torture and misery , I have to undergo.....oh ! can’t even imagine. Then there is only one way...give ‘ quotation ‘ ....Ayyappankutty ...my old friend’s. .as well as  my orderly’s son is now in the quotation gang...he may help me. Slowly he got out of the house in the darkness and walked towards
Ayyappankutty’s  house . One white car was there in the yard , so he was sure that Ayyappan was at home. He slowly knocked at the door. Ayyappankutty came out ,seeing this good old man at this time , he opened his mouth in amazement;
Without a  word old man walked off, and he followed  him. When they reached at a dilapidated barn...old man stopped and turned to his side, caught both his hands together in his hands, and  with a shivering voice pleaded  ‘’Ayyappa don’t say no..to me I have no other solution ...will you please finish off a person for me,..what  ever you want; I will give....please don’t say no ‘’Then our old man
sobbed.  Ayyappan   hugged him tightly and said ‘’ Uncle , tell me whom do you want to finish ?’’ Then with a gasping old man said ‘’ It is me , somehow finish off me, and save me, from these misery ‘’ At last he agreed. Ayyappan   said  ‘’ I will keep a small packet in this barn. Here  in this  point’’ He showed him a point .’’Mix it with water and drink .Next morning you won’t get up ‘’ Old man gave him a piece of gold bar , but he was hesitant to receive it  ’’ see ,this will lay under my pillow ,and somebody will grab it’’. He then forcefully put it in his pocket.
Next morning, the pedestrians, passing by, saw the barn  kept opened , they found out a dead body ,informed the neighbors  and police.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Thursday, November 19, 2015

''A GOLD MINE ''

‘’ A goldmine ‘’
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
One day Ammukutti amma got a phone call from Menon sir telling that there is a chance for her to get her husband’s freedom  fighter’s  and MLA’s pension,  for which she has to furnish,  a few  records in the village office. She with much enthusiasm , sat in the portico itself, waiting for her son ,Chandran  with whom
She was staying. As soon as he entered the house ,with great joy she passed  him  Menon’s  message. Chandran laughed loudly and said sarcastically how long I ‘am hearing  this story .How long Achan and menon uncle  ran after it.Leave it ,he is mad.’’
Then she called her second son Revi.’’ Revi…will you be able to take me to our  house….I have to collect a few records from  Achan’s   Almirah  ,and entrust it with Menon  chettan for Achan’s  pension .After  that he will see to it. We need not worry about it.’’He  rtorted, oh ; he started the pension story  again .Is he not fed up
‘with it. He is mad ; Amma, you mind your own business. Now you are ok; need not  run around  after it.’’
’Then she called her daughter Lalitha ,she laughed’’ what ? pension ?Menon uncle is still repeating the same story; if you are so adamant ; tell your son ;he  has his own car; a full time servant and all. For me I have to hire a car; you know; I cannot
Afford to it, Here I’am struggling to make both ends meet.’’She knows very well the answer she is going to get from the youngest one .Any way she asked her also
‘’ Amma ; don’t you know that how much I’m suffering here with these two small children; looking  after them; helping them to do their home work ; going to the office ;there I’am not just playing ,’’Ammukutty Amma put the phone  in the cradle. Then she called Menon  and said ‘’ Menon chetta ;I won’t be able to come
and give you the records; here everybody is busy, that they have no time to bring me there;so please leave me ;and you go ahead. Then he said ‘’ Chechy;  you get ready to come tomorrow  by 10.30.I will be there; by then with a taxi; I cannot forget Krishnan chettan and you chechy.’’ Next day by 10’o clock  Menon came there with a taxi; She left a message with the maid servant for her son ;that she is going to her house   and went off. Her house was in a very dilapidated condition;
and so Menon and his wife Saraswathi  stayed with her that day. Next day  she got  calls from her sons  blaming  her. She didn’t  utter a word .After a month their pensions  were  sanctioned with arrears;  that they got a pretty good amount. She conveyed the good news to her four children. Everybody  became happy ;the eldest one, Chandran   said’’ Anyway one of the dreams of our Achan is fulfilled, thank god; then get ready; I will be there by tomorrow morning to bring you back.’’ Revi said ‘’ On Sunday morning I will be there with a car to bring you
back.’’. The third one said ‘’ so far you were with Chettan. There they have a full time servant. So I thought; let you be more comfortable and safe. Now I have a
maid servant for the day time. You come with me for some time’’ Youngest one said ‘’ Amma ; Iam here with these two small chidren. Whenever Hariyettan
call me from Soudi  he used to tell ; ‘’you bring Amma there;now the children are  school going ; so you have enough time to look after her ;and she will also be a company
for you and the children’’. One by one the four of them came there to take her to their houses In no time she has become a gold mine; and everybody wants
her. But she said ‘’  I am not coming any were with anybody .Here ;I am wanted ,
I like this dilapidated house ; the dirty  surroundings and the poor villagers who don’t know the  values of assets or status.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ 

Friday, October 30, 2015

In between the hell and heaven.

‘’IN BETWEENTHE HEAVEN AND HELL
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’‘’
While Lissy was in the kitchen cooking supper Alby rushed in like a tempest and stumping on the floor and pointing towards her , yelled out ‘’Now…this moment  I must know whether you will give me the money for my visa ,this is a golden chance ….you mind, chances never come often…if I don’t give him the money tomorrow or the day after ,he said he will give it to someone else .A hundred and one boys are there ready to buy the visa.’’ At this moment John the marriage broker   came in , with a smile on his face thinking ‘Any way I  have come at the right time’. He asked ‘’Why …? What is the matter? Tell me , sister,  why he is making you stand on the pinpoint .’’  Sarcastically she said ‘’ he wants , twenty thousand Rs immediately. I asked him five minutes just to dig out the pot and count the money.’’ John laughed loudly  and called Alby…’’Alby son come out…..I have a gold fish in my net for you ….a gold fish, a nurse from Australia…has come down for a short leave. She wants to marry a boy with valid passport and a work experience certificate .The first face came to my mind, was your’s,..In every respect she suits you   ,like made for each other ‘’ Alby became happy, Lissy  became happy ,John became the happiest.
With  in a week’s time the marriage and everything in connection with the   mariage , was over and both of them with her dad, flew to Australia. For a few days she entered the kitchen in the morning and made him to assist her. Slowly she withdrew,   putting   everything on his shoulders There he saw heaven and hell  at the same  time. Early  morning  by 5’O clock he has to get up, cook brake fast and lunch simultaneous ,Then washing vessels moping floor looking after the old man everything he has to do .Old man needs help to go to the toilet, to take bath ,even to move around.
Once in   a  way she used to  take him for an outing. Then she allowed him to drive the car dress
 neatly and walk with her, side by side ,holding hands; as her husband .,She with her friends and colleagues; often take  him out for sightseeing  and then they stayed out in resorts for weekends ,then poor Alby  has to witness many  scenes of petting , papering and love making.
Alby didn’t know what to do . He is trapped, in between the hell and heaven .At last he decided to stick on. He sent some of the photographs to  Lissy , to make her happy. She walked around
Showing the photos , and everybody became happy , thinking that he is in the heaven.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

'' Fond memories of my child hood ''[28 ]

‘’ Fond memories of my child hood ‘’ [ 28 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
At times  my dad  went into the dense forest with a few of his selective  friends for hunting.Pottanammachen was the one who made all the arrangements like food drinking water,head light,swatter muffler boots  etc
And he also accompanied them. They used to go for hunting by evening andcame back by next morning with the shot dead animals like big jungle squrrels, or deer or sheep and all.Then Pottanammachen and sreedharan started   dressing ,cleaning ,and cutting them up and cooking .By evening dad’s friends with whom he went for hunting  gathered in our house  to enjoy a dinner with white kerosin [for liquer Pottanammachen used to tell us that it is white kerosin.During the war time  the kerosin  we get was not clear,had a slight reddish colour.]As life was going on ike this the x’mas vacation came to an end and we proceeded to nangiarkulangara.
One of my aunties in cochin  had a fever and it prolonged for  more than a month.In the end Drs digonised that she had TB and adviced her to go to Madrass to get proper treatment. After a course of treatment she was adviced to go to Nagarcoil TB centre for further care and medication. Uncle took her with  her younger sister to Nagarcoil took a small house on rent near the TB hospital and continude the treatment.My mother and her sisters were so attached and my mom went to Nagarcoil for afew days to help them. 
Dad came away to the estate leaving mum there.
By the time our school closed for the mid summer vacation and my sister
Brother and myself came to Bharatheepuram. We reached home by the late evening and saw dad lying down  fully covered with a blanket and shivering.
He was having  a very high temperature and Pttanammachen had gone to Punalure to get medicine for him. Through out the night my sister and
Pottanammachen were nursing him ,but his illness became worse. Early morning Pottanammachen hired a car and with the help of Sreedharan ,
driver and my sister ,somehow shifted him to the car and drove on.My youngest sister ,brother,and myself were so worried and were waiting for them.Towards the evening  some how the news reached home that
Dad passed away.Within seconds the house and the courtyard was crowded
With people crying and howling and I joined them,but at that moment I was tottaly ignorant ,of the depth of the loss.By midnight somebody brought my mom  without
revealing the sad news to her.At the first sight she fainted ,and the people around carried her to her room.The funeral was on the next day in presence of
a big crowed.He was creamated at a distance but we could see the flame and smoke from home.For a few days  the house and surroundings were full of
people , relatives and friends coming and going like a stream.There was a big function on the sixteenth day of  demise.A big pandal was errected in t he
 courtyard and there was a feast ,After that the crowd were dispersed,then we, my mom my sisters brothers and me were left alone, we could very well feel the depth of our loss….a house …without a master …no one to take a decision….no one to direct us…no one to care for us….no one to manage the estate.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’  

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

‘’ എന്‍റെ ഓര്‍മകളിലെ ജനയുഗവും ത്യാഗോജ്വലരായആദ്യകാലപ്രവര്‍ത്തകരും’
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
1948----49‘ ല്‍പ്രസിദ്ധീകരണമാരംഭിച്ച ജനയുഗം താമസിയാതെതന്നെ
നിരോധിക്കപെട്ടു.നിരോധനംനീക്കിവീണ്ടുംപ്രസിദ്ധീകരണംആരംഭിക്കാനുള്ളശ്രമമത്തിലായിഗോപിമാരുംകൂട്ടരും.  1950ല്‍പതിനഞ്ചുവയസ്സുകാരിയായ ഞാന്‍കൊച്ചുഗോപിയുടെനല്ലപകുതിയായിവരുമ്പോള്‍മലയാളമനോരെമ,ഹിന്ദു എന്നിങ്ങനെ,ഇടയ്ക്കിടെ മുടങ്ങാത്ത ,വളരെപ്രധാന്ന്യ് വുംപ്രചാരവുംഉള്ള  പത്രംപോലെയുള്ള ഒരു പത്രം,അതായിരു
ന്നു എന്‍റെമനസിലെചിത്രം.അവിടെനിന്നുംഞാന്‍ സാവധാനംയഥാര്‍ധ്യ
ത്തിലേക്കുവന്നു.അവിടെആദര്‍ശധീരരായപലവ്യക്തികളെയുംകണ്ടു,,,eഎന്‍റെ,
മനസ്സില്‍പതിഞ്ഞവ്യക്തികള്‍,.സഖാവ് എം.എന്‍.,ഇ.എം.സ്,പി.കെ.വി,വൈ
ക്കം,കാമ്പിശ്ശേരി, കെ.എസ്.ചന്ദ്രന്‍,വലിയ ഗോപിചേട്ടന്‍…ഇവരില്‍
എല്ലാവരുംതന്നെഎന്‍റെവിട്ടില്‍ ഒളിവില്‍താമസ്സിച്ചിട്ടുള്ളവരാണു.
എന്‍റെവിവാഹംകഴിഞ്ഞ് ആദ്യത്തെ ഓണം….ഈഓണക്കാലത്തും
കഴിഞ്ഞുപോയഎല്ലാഓണക്കാലത്തും,ഞാന്‍ഓര്‍ത്തുപോകാറുണ്ട്.
വിധവയായ എന്‍റെ അമ്മ,അനുജത്തി,ഞങ്ങളുടെകൂടെ ഓണംകൂടാന്‍
വന്ന ഒരമ്മാവിയുംകുട്ടികള്‍കളും,…എല്ലാവരും ഒരു ഓണക്കോടിയും
പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ചിരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍,ഗോപിച്ചേട്ടന്‍എത്തുന്നത്‌അര്‍ദ്ധരാത്രിയില്‍,
വെറുംകൈയോടെ, തിരുവോണദിവസംഅതിരാവിലേപോയആളെ
കാത്തുകാത്ത്,പിന്നേ മണിരണ്ടരകഴിഞ്ഞു,ഞങ്ങള്‍ ഊണുകഴിച്ചു.
മണിനാലുകഴിഞ്ഞു,അദ്ദേഹമെത്തുമ്പോള്‍.അമ്മ,വേഗംഇലയിട്ടു,വിളമ്പാന്‍,ആരംഭിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഗോപിച്ചേട്ടന്‍പറഞ്ഞു’’ഒരുപാടുവൈകിയതു
കൊണ്ടുഞാനൂണുകഴിച്ചു’’.ആര്‍ക്കുംഒന്നുംമനസിലാകാതെനില്‍ക്കുമ്പോള്‍അദ്ദേഹം,എന്നോടായിപറഞ്ഞു….’’ആ സഖാവ്.ഇ.വി യില്ലേ…അദ്ദേഹ
ത്തിനുഒരു പൈസയുംഎടുക്കാന്‍കഴിഞ്ഞില്ല…മറിച്ചുംതിരിച്ചുംഒക്കെ
തൊഴിലാളികള്‍ക്ക് എങ്ങിനെഎങ്കിലുംഒപ്പിച്ചുകൊടുത്തു.നമ്മളെയെല്ലാംപോലെയല്ലല്ലോ അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്‍റെയവസ്ഥ….ഓണക്കോടികാത്തിരിക്കുന്ന..മൂന്നുകുഞ്ഞുങ്ങള്‍,..പിന്നെപഴയ..ലക്കംജനയുഗമെല്ലാംതൂക്കിവിറ്റ്,കിട്ടിയകാശു,ഞാനുംഗോപിപിള്ളയുംകൂടി,വീട്ടില്‍കൊണ്ടുപോയി കൊടുത്തുi
ഇവിടെഎത്താന്‍വളരെവൈകും…അതുകൊണ്ടുപുറത്തുനിന്നുംകഴിച്ചു.
അന്ന്കരച്ചിലിന്‍റെവക്കോളംഎത്തിനിന്നഎനിക്ക് പിന്നീട് ജനയുഗവു
മായിബന്ധപെട്ട്,ഈമഹല്‍വ്യക്തികളെപരിചയപെടാനുംഅവരുടെ
ത്യഗോജ്വലമായജീവിതഅനുഭവങ്ങള്‍,കണ്ടും,കേട്ടും,അറിയാനും,അവസരംകിട്ടിയപ്പോ,ള്‍അവര്‍ക്ക്ആധിത്യംനല്‍കാന്‍കഴിഞ്ഞതില്‍ അഭിമാനംതോന്നി.
ഒരിക്കല്‍എംഎന്‍ചേട്ടനുംകൂട്ടരും,ഞങ്ങളുടെവീട്ടിലെ,തട്ടിന്‍പുറത്തു ഒളിവില്‍കഴിയുന്നകാലത്ത്,രാത്രിയാകുമ്പോള്‍എല്ലാവരുംതാഴെഇറങ്ങും,വെട്ടവുംവെളിച്ചവുംഒന്നുമില്ലാതെയാണുചര്‍ച്ചകള്‍.അങ്ങിനെ ഒരു ദിവസം,ചൂടുപിടിച്ച,ചര്‍ച്ചകള്‍നടക്കുമ്പോള്‍,ആരോരണ്ടുപേര്‍
പടിയിറങ്ങിവരുന്നു.എന്‍റെ വീട്,മൂന്ന്‌നാലുകെട്ടുകളുള്ളവലിയവീ
ടായിരുന്നു.അത്തില്‍പടിഞ്ഞാറേകേട്ടിനകത്തേ,നാലുമുറികളുംഅടഞ്ഞുതന്നെ
കിടക്കുന്നവയാണു..എല്ലാവരുംഅടഞ്ഞുകിടക്കുന്നമുറികളിലും,വീടിന്‍റെപിന്നന്നിലുംഒക്കേകയറിഒളിച്ചു. എമ്മെന്‍ചേട്ടന്‍കയറിഒ
ളിച്ചമുറിയുടെമൂലായിലായി,എന്തോഒരുഅനക്കം.ഇടക്ക്ഒരുസീല്‍ക്കാരവും,…നാലുവശവുംനിരീക്ഷിച്ചുകൊണ്ട്,പതുക്കെ….ടോര്‍ച്ചുതെളിയിച്ചുനോക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ,അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്‍റെ ഭാഷയില്‍പറഞ്ഞാല്‍,’’ തന്നേക്കാളും
വിഷമുള്ളഒരുമൂര്‍ഖന്‍പാമ്പ്’’.പുറത്ത്..പോലിസാണോ….ഒറ്റുകാരാണോ.
ഒന്നുംഅറിയില്ല..ഒരുമണിക്കൂറോളംമുഖത്തോടുമുഖംനോക്കി,അവരിരുന്നു.വന്നവരെപറഞ്ഞുവിട്ട് all clearance signal കിട്ടുംവരെ,.
നാളുകള്‍ക്കു ശേഷംഒരുദിവസംഞാന്‍സ്കൂളില്‍നിന്നുംവരുമ്പോള്‍
മുറ്റംനിറയെആള്‍ക്കാര്‍..,അവര്‍കൊടിതോരണങ്ങള്‍കെട്ടുന്നു,മുറ്റമാകെ
അലംങ്കരിക്കുന്നു,ആകേഒരുഉത്സവപ്രതീതി.അടുത്തദിവസംആമാവിന്‍
ചുവട്ടിലെപന്തലില്‍വച്ചായിരുന്നു എമ്മെന്‍ചേട്ടന്‍റെകല്യാണം.ചുവന്ന
രെക്തഹാരംപരസ്പരംഅണിയിച്ച്അവര്‍വിവാഹിതരായി.അന്ന്ആ
വിവാഹത്തില്‍പങ്കെടുക്കാന്‍മിക്കവാറുംഎല്ലാനേതാക്കന്മാരുംഎത്തി
യിരുന്നു..അവിടെവച്ച്അവരെയെല്ലാംനേരില്‍കാണാനുംപരിചയപെടാനുംഎനിക്ക്സാധിച്ചു.
എന്നെഏറെആകര്‍ഷിച്ചത്കടപ്പാക്കടയിലെകമ്മ്യൂണിറ്റിലിവിംഗ്ആണു..ഒരുപാരമ്പര്യതറവാട്ടിലെഏകസന്തതിയുംസ.പികെവിയുടെഭാര്യയുംമായ,,ലെക്ഷമികുട്ടിചേച്ചി,വൈക്കത്തെഒരുപാരമ്പര്യതറവാട്ടിലെഅംഗവും
സ.വൈക്കത്തിന്‍റെഭാര്യയുമായസുശീല,ക്രിസ്ത്യാനിയായസഖാ ക്കള്‍

കക്കനടന്മാര്‍എല്ലാവര്‍ക്കുംഅമ്മയായഅവരുടെഅമ്മച്ചി,പിച്ചവയ്ക്കുന്നകുഞ്ഞുങ്ങളുംഓടിക്ക്കളിക്കുന്നവരും.അങ്ങിനെപലപ്രായത്തിലുംഉ
ള്ളനാലഞ്ചുകുഞ്ഞുങ്ങള്‍…എല്ലാകുഞ്ഞുങ്ങളുംഎല്ലാവരുടെയും.എനിക്കുംഅവരുടെ കൂടെകൂടണമെന്നുതോന്നി.ഞങ്ങളുടെരണ്ടുപേരുടെയും
വീടുകള്‍ഇവിടെതന്നെയായതുകൊണ്ട്,,അവരുടെകൂടെകൂടാന്‍കഴിയാത്തതില്‍ഒരിഛാഭങ്ങം…അങ്ങിനെ,അങ്ങിനെഎഴുതിയാല്‍തീരാത്തത്രഅനുഭവങ്ങളുംഓര്‍മ്മകളുംജനയുഗത്തെനിലനിര്‍ത്താന്‍നിസ്വാര്‍ഥമായിയത്നിച്ചവരുംഎന്നുംഎന്‍റെമനസ്സിനെകുളിരണിയിക്കുന്നു.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Experiences 2

Experiences 2
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
I saw the photographs of our house and premises and read Balu’s and Remesh’s memories in connection with the house.So also in my memory the house  is still live with sweet as well as bitter experiences.Happy moments are momentary and painful moments are ever lasting.As Balu remembers I too remember, my father in law who was  a very respectable person,the first FR CS in the state and head of the department of Medicine.As Balu remembers, in the evenings, he put a chair, outside  the portico[in the yard]and sat Reading.

Next to him Balu sat, in a chair with a book .I used to go there, every evening with my two girls of three and four years.When we enter the compound ,when they see their grandpa, my children, like frightened kittens, clung to my hand.He never lifted his face ,nor asked them anything, because their father, his son was a politician .In stead of job hunting, he joined the freedom movement, and fought for the poor .At the same time, my brother in law ,Balu’s father was well placed and financially in a high position., .We used to go, to the backside of the house, where my mother in law was. She was very loving and affectionate towards us. We, my mother in law ,sisters in law and me together had many ,many happy moments of joy.So my feelings towards the house is a mixture of joys and pains.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Experiences [ 1 ]

While we were having our kitchen cabinet meeting in the open work area as usual, a dark, stout , Brahman lady, came to the door,wearing  pattu, saree ,with kasavu .....pallavu.Everybody stood up and directed her to the drawing room.She asked about the diamond earrings,which was bought for my sister in law.When she moves this side and that side  the diamond earrings she wore , glitter, like  anything .She examined the earrings, and passed a comment.Then she turned to my co-sister, and asked ''Why don't you buy  a set of diamond earrings? you, can afford to.then I noticed, that all my sisters in law had diamond  earrings.They all in one voice,  encouraged her ''tell him, that, you want a set of, diamond earrings...''Then they all looked at my face sympathetically.They know, that  my husband was, a  freedom fighter and he could not afford to .i was hardly, fifteen years old then. I felt, that I am going down, and down, and became, small like a mustard.A thousand and one experiences, like this made  me an iron lady...

Friday, March 20, 2015

'' Fond memories of my childhood '' [ 33 ]

‘’’ Fond memories of my childhood ‘’[33 ]
‘’   ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
At last my exam was over, and on the same day, my distant uncle, came to take me, to Quilon----to my mum.I reached home ,arter the exam by 12’O clock; packed my things ,
Quickly;and had lunch;and started for Quilon.First  he took me to a lodge and asked me, to wait there for ten Minutes;and he went out.While I was  anxiously,
waiting for him, he came with his dad  ,who had come, to Trivandrum to see an advocate.Immediately, we started our journey, in a car,older than my uncle’s
dad, and it ran with a jerk, making a rattling sound.I enjoyed the jerk, and the
rattling sound; might be,because I was in a jovial mood;that I was going to join my mother and younger sister.Towards 8’o clock we reached Quilon.My mum , and sister were waiting, for us. Though the house was very big ;with three inner courtyards;ten bed rooms; vast halls; verandas ;and all the rooms were closed--.There was -pin drop silence---completely dark —I couldn't  see the surroundings.Even then, I enjoyed the feeling, of security;love and care.
For dinner, we had porridge, with some Curry.Our maid servant was, very tall,very fair,wearing  very big earrings;had protruded teeth;chewing pan always ,dripping saliva on either sides of her mouth;lame and she stammered.She stared at me, for a few minutes, and passed a comment.’’ma—ma—madam your girl is a na-na—nice child. ‘’ After some time, an other lady came there, to keep us company for the night, In the morning, her mother, a very very old lady, came there to sweep and, ,wash clothes,. Her grand daughter,  came
for cooking and to keep company  for us. Thus after a year, of separation we began a new life, of our own.Here ends, my childhood.I’am no longer a child.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Friday, March 13, 2015

'' Fond memories of my childhood '' [ 32 ]

‘’ Fond memories of my childhood ‘’ [32 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
While I was in Trivandrum, waiting for the exam ,one day I overheard  aunty and uncle talking about my mum. From their talk, I understood that mum was going to shift from Bharatheepuram to our family house at Quilon.After my only uncle’s death the house was locked-up.Nobody was there. to stay ..One of my distant uncles [mum’s cousin]was looking after the cocanut plantation and the house.Mum had to go there because it was time to put my younger sister in school, and more over
It was very hard to stay in the estate house, where no body,  was there to see to the household affairs.
I was feeling   sorry, felt heaviness at my heart….every nook and corner of the house  , the  surroundings , and the scenery , humming and twittering of the birds nesting in the bushes of the
trees in the back yard , the gurgling sound of the  stream running down  the boundary of our compound, the blue mountains fading out in the sky, and the vast paddy fields with rolling waves
were  carved in my memory, and I was a part of it. These remembrances made me nostalgic.
Every night, when the lights were off and every body  fell asleep, I was at Bharatheepuram
In my house, in these  with my birds , and then I even felt the presence of my dad
who, was  no more
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Friday, March 6, 2015

''Fond memories of my childhood '' [ 31 ]

‘’’Fond memories of my childhoodhood ‘’ [ 31 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
After a few days of my enjoyment with my mum ,younger sister,cousins,our maid servant Rosa, and even with our dogs ,cats and the birds, all around  us . I had to go to Trivandrum to continue my studies. My only consolation was after a month or one and a half months  the annual exam
Would be over and I could be back to my own world. Our return trip was from home to Punalur by bus and from there to Trivandrum by train.Though my cousins were with me,and they enjoyed the journey,I couldn’t.I saw the sights on either side, passing by,through a transparent veil of tears,and my mind was with my mum. Her lost look followed me like a shadow. Her sad looks forced 
me to think about   the old days.How happy we were, when dad was alive.
How lively was my home,always ,,mum busy cooking special dishes for dad and his friends and relatives.The courtyard was always full of labourers doing this  and that thing,each corner of the yard had heap of cashew nuts,arecanut,pepper,people kept coming  to buy these things.Now it is really
a no man's land, no heap of cashew,no heap of ,areca nut or pepper,so nobody needed to come .
Everywhere  dad’s absence was felt,everything was coming to a mess.Pottanammachen left,Sreedharan our cook left,Totally a different world.
.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’


Saturday, February 28, 2015

'' Fond memories of my childhood '' [ 30 ]

’ Fond memories of my childhood ‘’ [ 30 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
During the xm’s vacation my uncle sent me to my mum .Four of my cousins also accompanied me. My eldest cousin was a fourteen year old then  
and he was the leader of the team Uncle made all arrangements for our journey. We started from Trivandrum on a fine morning  and reached Kulathoopuzha by three or three-thirty. We enjoyed the journey through the
thick forest area with hairpin curves….jumping and shaking…My cousins were experiencing such a journey for the first time.When we reached Kulathoopuzha the climate was so bad ,a heavy rainwas …pouring . .When we reached the bus stand  an old man with three..four umbrellas was waiting for us.
He told us that there was  no bus service to Bharatheepuram that day because of the down pore and th  some hindrances on the road …erosion of the sand, wild trees fell on the road and so on.He took us to his quarters.It was just behind the Anchel office ,a small building  with two rooms a verandha and a kitchen.His wife two small kids and  his mother in law were there. We altogether were five in number and there was no space for us even to move about.They were very kind and loving .they squeezed themselves into one room and gave us the other room.By evening when the office hours were over the Anchel master with the help of the peons moved the table and chairs of the main office room to a corner and gave us the room. At night his mother in law came to the office to give us  company  and slept with us .Even then when we heard the sound of howling ,  hooting ,and roaring of the wild animals we got scared…The next day
morning befo re the office started we were again shifted to the quarters .By noon the rain stopped and buses started services. The old man took us to the bus stand
and made us sit comfortably and waited there until the bus began its journey. We reached home  towards sunset…a two days joney from Trivandrum to Bharatheepuram…..anyhow we enjoyed it.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

''Fond memories of my childhood '' [ 29 ]

‘’Fond memories of my childhood ‘’ [29]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
This numbness of the atmosphere continued for quite some time. By the time, my brothers became energetic and a number of youngsters gathered around them to help and to take advantage of the situation. Elder brother took over the estate affairs, but he was interested only in the income. He with his friends enjoyed the freedom.He went out whenever he felt like going out and came back very late. Second brother was timid to present his opinion before the eldest one, My third brother was too small, he had to obey his elders orders. Thus everything went into a mess. Mum was too soft to control them. In the estate area, there were no schools, so my brother joined a school at the nearby town,
Some ten kilometers away and he used to go by bus., it was difficult
for me to go ,  because there were only two or three bus services and were fully packed. One of my aunties in Trivandrum took me with her .My cousin
and I joined a school there, a little far away and we walked to the school .. Including me  there were ten children,The eldest two were in collage
and  the youngest in nursery and all others were in between. My uncle was very strict like a boarding school master.
He always kept an eye on the children, and we had to move according to the time table dictated by him. I was thrown into a different world. So far I was a free bird and now  I felt  like shut up in a cage.  I tried to adjust to the
new circumstances. Every night when the lights were off I was with my mum..
clinging to her chest….feeling  the beating of  her depressed heart. One day a new class teacher arrived and she made all students stand up one by one and
tell the name of father and what he was. When my turn came I held my face in both hands and wept bitterly. Then I felt the loss deeply ,that everybody had father
and I didn’t have. Slowly a feeling of isolation crept in my mind. The teacher came to me and asked ?’’ why /what happened…?why are you sobbing like this?’’ I couldn’t utter a word. Then my cousin was called ,and then she said that my dad passed away recently. From that moment onwards   I felt the loss
at the heart of my  hearts.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Thursday, February 5, 2015

'' Fond memories of my child hood '' [28 ]

‘’ Fond memories of my child hood ‘’ [ 28 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
Once in away my dad used to go into the dense forest with a few of his selective  friends for hunting. Pottanammachen was the one who made all the arrangements like food drinking water,head light,sweter muffler boots  and all
And he also accompanied them. They used to go for hunting by evening and came back by next morning with the shot dead animals like big jungle squirrels, or deer or sheep and all.Then Pottanammachen and sreedharan start   dressing ,cleaning ,and cutting them up and cooking .By evening dad’s friends with whom he went for hunting used to gather in our house  to enjoy a dinner with white kerosin [for liquor Pottanammachen used to tell us that it is white kerosin  .During the war time  the kerosin that we get was not clear,had a slite reddish colour.]As life was going on ike this the x’mas vacation came to an end and we proceeded to Nangiarkulangara.
One of my aunties in Cochin started a fever and it prolonged  more than a month.In the end Doctors diagnosed that she had TB and advised her to go to Madras to get proper treatment. After a course of treatment she was advised to go to Nagarcoil TB centre for further care and medication. Uncle took her with  her younger sister to Nagarcoil took a small house on rent near the TB hospital and continued the treatment.My mother and her sisters were so attached and my mom went to Nagarcoil for afew days to give them a help.
Dad came away to the estate leaving mum there.
By the time our school closed for the mid summer vacation and my sister
Brother and myself came to Bharatheepuram. We reached home by the late evening and saw dad laying down  fully covered with a blanket and shivering.
He was running a very high temperature and Pttanammachen had gone to Punaloore to get medicine for him. Through out the night my sister and
Pottanammachen were nursing him ,but his illness became worse. Early morning Pottanammachen hired a car and with the help of Sreedharan ,
driver and my sister ,somehow shifted him to the car and drove on.My youngest sister ,brother,and myself were so worried and were waiting for them.Towards the evening  some how the news reached home that
Dad passed away.Within seconds the house and the courtyard was crowded
With people crying and howling and I joined them,but that moment I was totaly ignorant , the depth of the loss.By midnight somebody brought my mom  without
revealing the sad news to her.At the first sight she fainted ,and the people around carried her to her room.The funeral was on the next day in presence of
a big crowed.He was cremated at a distance but we could see the flame and smoke from home.For a few days  the house and surroundings were full of
people , relatives and friends coming and going like a stream.There was a big function on the sixteenth day of  demise.A big pandal were erected in t he
 courtyard and there were a feast ,After that the crowd were dispersed,then we, my mom my sisters brothers and me were left alone, we could very well feel the depth of our loss….a house …without a master …no one to take a decision….no one to direct us…no one to care for us….no one to manage the estate.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’  

Saturday, January 17, 2015

'' Fond memories of my child hood '' [ 27 ]

’’Fond memories of my child hood ‘’ [27 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
One evening we ,my brother,his friends,our maid servant's daughter and me  were playing hide and seek, in the backyard of our house.Boys climbed the trees and one climbed the attic of the cow shed and we girls hid behind  the
heap of hey and inside the quarry, from where the stones were dug for the construction of the house. When we entered the quarry we heard a shrill kiyo
kiyo… voice of  chicks. .We looked every where    to find out
from where the sound comes from  .At last we saw a big hole, like a cave
in the wall of the trench. When we peeped into it we saw in dim light ,very young  egg like chicks with shining eyes, frightened ,clinging together.We took them out carefully.They were eleven in number,.By the time from a distance
the mother hen came running making a sound and looking at our face  demanding  her baby-chicks. We.We took the chicks and hen also inside the house
gave them a basket ,spread  hey inside and made it soft for the chicks  and kept it at the attic of our barn.
Hen got into the basket and sat spreading it’s feather and wings and kept all the chicks inside her wings.Only then mum and others knew that the hen laid eggs in that hole and hatched.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Friday, January 9, 2015

Fond memories of my child hood [26 ]i

’  Fond memories of my childhood ‘’ [26 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
On full moon days, we put two, or three mats in the courtyard in front of our house mum ,dad sisters brothers and me  sat on the mat and mum showed us the five stars named pancha pandavas,and the seven stars,
Saptharshis,and the most  glittering one Karthika. .When ever we sat in the moon light,she  repeated this.My brother and me ran around and played.
The whole world around us were immersed in the milky moon light and we could see the blue mountains,just below  the green hills ,just below the vast
green paddy fields fading out in the distance and the cool breeze carrying the fragrance of the wild flowers. All these  are still in my memory like a canvas painting.
On such a day, we  enjoyed the moon light , the breeze,  and the beauty of the surroundings and then went inside for dinner.After dinner mum the maid servant and her daughter started cutting vegetables and doing other household works  like washing plates ,making pickles ,polishing lamps  because there was a small function on the next day.My eldest sister and her husband were coming home to celebrate her birth day with us. Two or three times mum chased us to go to sleep,but we came back lingering around watching their work. Towards the late hours of the night we heard the sound of a motor car;from
a distance, coming nearer and nearer and  entering our boundary.We were expecting my sister and  husband so we peeped through the window.Then we
were so excited to see  a number of deer big  and small running  around and playing in the moon light in our court yard.with out making any sound mum woke up my elders and dad and we watched  the beautiful sight for a few minuets.They might have heard  the rustling sound of us moving, for a moment they looked towards the house ,then ran away and disappeared
In the forest.
There was a vegetable garden  in the back yard of our house and adjacent to
the vegetable garden there was avast land where tapioca
chorm,banana,cashew nuts and mango trees were grown.Once in a way
monkeys in battallion rushed into that area and with in seconds they will pull out tapioca and pluck banana,stuff it in their mouths and hands full and run
away into the forest.To pull out tapioca one of them will climb up and swing
to and fro like children swinging in a swing.By the time two or three of them would pull it upwards from the bottom. There is a stream running down
at our boundry..Monkeys always do everything in groups.A group of them jumped into the stream,swam,dived and took a bath.After bath they sat in the sun to dry their body;and  then plucked leaves of teak wood,put it in a flat stone
and smashed it up with another stone.,With both hands smeared the juice in their cheeks to get a pink colour,like our modern girls using roosh  in their cheeks.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Fond memories of my childhoohd [25 ]

‘’Fond memmories of my child hood ‘’ [25 ]
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
By the time of the second term exam I was the top in  class and the class teacher made me the  class.leader So also I was very active in extracurricular activities like painting ,playing badminton,ping-pong,giving speeches
In class meetings .During the x’mas vacation we went to Bharatheepuram.Life in the forest area was quite different and I enjoyed it with my brother.We my brother ,his friends and me went into the forest to see monkeys ,squirrels,rabbits , birds.and to pluck fruits like gua mango etc.
One day my dad brought home a baby monkey.During the winter season ,at times  forest  fire broke out,and the animals inside that area used to run away to save themselves .Monkeys while jumping from one branch to another to get out of the fire; to save the baby monkey;they used to threw them away out of burning area.Some how dad got a baby monkey ,which was thrown away.My brother and me were so excited to have a baby monkey and we spent most of the time nursing it .We managed to have a woollen wrapper ,a feeding bottle and a cradle for the baby monkey.First it was so scared of us and within a few days it started playing with us and came running as soon as it saw  the feeding bottle.
like a baby it was laid down in our laps to drink the milk.
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’